In a hurry?
- A dog who barks, howls, chews the door or wets the floor when left is usually distressed, and it isn't spite.
- Never tell your dog off when you get home. It makes the worry worse.
- Stop leaving your dog for longer than they can cope with while you work on it. Use a sitter, a friend, or a Big Dog Club day once I've assessed your dog.
- Film your dog when you go out, so you know what's really happening.
Alex can help with this: Separation anxiety.
Want Alex to look at your dog?
Four quick questions. We reply Monday to Saturday, usually within the hour.
Thanks, .
We reply Monday to Saturday, usually within the hour, by email.
What happens next:
- Alex asks what happens and when. A short video helps, but never set your dog up to react just to film it.
- He tells you where he'd start and what it costs.
- You agree a time, at your home or at the field.
If your dog has bitten, keep them behind a gate or on a lead until you’ve spoken.
Nothing by the next working day? Check your spam folder, or email hello@essexdogtrainer.co.uk.
Preview only: this copy of the site is not connected to the enquiry inbox, so nothing was sent.
You come home to a chewed door frame, a puddle in the hall or a note from the neighbour about the howling. Or you can't get out of the door at all without your dog panicking. It's exhausting, and it can make work, shopping and a night out feel impossible. You're far from the only one. The RSPCA says, "Research suggests that 8 out of 10 dogs find it hard to cope when left alone," and that half of them won't show obvious signs.
Signs your dog is struggling when left
Blue Cross says distress usually starts as soon as you leave and is worst in the first 15 minutes. Signs include:
- barking, whining or howling
- chewing or scratching at doors, door frames and windows
- wetting or pooing inside the house
- panting, drooling, pacing or trembling
- refusing a chew or food toy until you come back
- following you from room to room, or getting worried as you pick up your keys
- a frantic greeting when you return, or a dog who is wet from drool
Some dogs suffer quietly by the door, and nothing gets broken. That's why a camera matters.
Anxiety, frustration or boredom?
"Separation anxiety" gets used for any problem when a dog is left. There can be several different reasons behind it. A 2020 University of Lincoln study of more than 2,700 dogs found four broad types of distress:
- wanting to get away from something inside the home
- wanting to get to something outside
- reacting to noises or things happening outside
- boredom
The researchers concluded that the problem "should be seen as a symptom of underlying frustrations rather than a diagnosis". Professor Daniel Mills compared it to saying "My dog's got an upset tummy", meaning it tells you something is wrong without saying why. The fix depends on the cause. A dog who barks at the postman needs different help from a dog who panics the moment the door shuts. Charities list other common triggers too: never having been left as a puppy, a house move or change of routine, losing a companion, and the first weeks in a new home after rescue or boarding.
Rule out medical causes
Some medical problems can look like separation anxiety, especially accidents in the house. Dogs Trust advises seeing your vet first, particularly if it started suddenly or your dog is older or seems unwell. Your vet may also be able to prescribe something to help alongside behaviour work.
Film your dog first
Before you change anything, find out what's really happening. Set up a phone or pet camera where your dog spends their time, then leave as normal. Watch the recording. Does the behaviour start as soon as the door shuts, or after an hour? Does your dog settle, then react to a noise outside? Dogs Trust points out that a dog who won't touch food or toys only when alone may be anxious. The recording also gives a behaviourist something solid to work from.
Mistakes that make it worse
Telling your dog off when you get home
Your dog can't link a telling-off to something they did hours earlier. Blue Cross says, "Punishment is not only useless but it is also likely to make the problem worse." That "guilty look" is your dog reacting to you. It doesn't mean they know what they did.
Leaving them to "cry it out"
You'll often hear this advice. The RSPCA warns that "Dogs and puppies left to cry it out will only learn that being alone is terrifying."
Relying on a crate
A crate can be a cosy den for a dog who already likes it. For a panicking dog, shutting them in can make things worse and some dogs hurt themselves trying to get out. Dogs Trust says, "Crate training alone won't stop your dog worrying about being left."
Getting a second dog
It's a big step, and Dogs Trust says a companion won't fix the anxiety itself. You may end up with two dogs who struggle.
Doing too much, too soon
Every time your dog panics while alone, the fear gets a bit more practised. So the most useful early step is often to stop leaving them for longer than they can manage, even if that means asking for help with care for a while.
This is the core of most separation work. Your dog learns, bit by bit, that being alone is safe and that you always come back. Charities describe the same basic method.
Choose a calm space
Pick a room your dog already likes. Add a comfy bed, water and something to chew. A stair gate lets your dog see and hear you at first. Use the space for nice things at other times too.
Start inside the house
Give your dog a long-lasting chew, then step out of sight for a few seconds. Come back before they get worried. Over days, build up slowly. Blue Cross suggests working towards your dog staying in that area for up to half an hour while you're busy elsewhere in the house.
Take the sting out of the cues
Many dogs start to worry when they see keys, shoes or a coat. Pick up your keys and sit down. Put your coat on and make a cup of tea. Do this until the cues mean nothing much.
Practise short absences
Step outside the front door, then come straight back in. Build up to a minute, then a few minutes. Always come back before your dog gets upset. If they struggle, go back to the last step they managed and stay there for a while.
Set them up to settle
Before you go, give your dog a walk and a chance to toilet. Leave a stuffed chew or food toy that they also enjoy while you're home. If noise outside is the trigger, close the curtains or put a radio on.
Most guidance agrees that even a relaxed adult dog shouldn't be left for more than about four hours at a time. Puppies need much less.
For separation anxiety I usually suggest we meet at your home, because that's where the problem happens. We can also meet at our training field at Roxwell if that's easier. A 1-2-1 behaviour session lasts 1.5 hours and costs £160 at our Chelmsford field, or £190 at your home. I'll ask you to see your vet if I think something medical could be involved. We look at your recordings, your routine and what your dog does as you get ready to go. That tells us which kind of distress we're dealing with. Then we agree the first steps and I show you how to do them. Follow-up sessions are £100 an hour at the training field, £120 an hour at home if you want more help. For some dogs, residential training can help. I set every residential dog's plan and my small team and I work with them every day. Short, gentle spells of time alone can be part of their daily training. A handover session then shows you how to carry it on, because the work has to continue in your own home. In over 15 years I've worked with more than 10,000 dogs, and I know how much a separation problem can take over an owner's day. You can read more about separation anxiety help in Essex or see all prices.
It varies. It depends on the type of distress, how long it's been going on, and how often your dog is still being left past what they can cope with. Some dogs move quickly through the early steps. Others need weeks at each stage. Dogs Trust is clear that separation anxiety "does not normally resolve by itself, so your dog is unlikely to grow out of it." Starting early makes a difference.
Questions owners ask
Will my dog grow out of separation anxiety?
Usually not on their own. Dogs Trust says it does not normally resolve by itself. The sooner you start small, steady alone-time practice, the better.
How long does it take to fix separation anxiety?
There's no set timescale. It depends on the cause, how long it's been happening and whether your dog is still being left too long while you work on it. Anyone who promises a fixed number of weeks hasn't met your dog.
Should I get a second dog to keep them company?
Usually not as a fix. Dogs Trust says it rarely solves the problem, and you may end up with two dogs who struggle.
Is crate training good for separation anxiety?
Only for a dog who already loves their crate. Shutting a panicking dog in a crate can make things worse, and some dogs hurt themselves trying to escape.
How long can I leave my dog alone?
Most UK charities say no more than about four hours, even for a relaxed adult dog. While you're working on separation problems, keep absences shorter than your dog can cope with.
Google review
The Best decision I’ve ever made to help my dog with separation anxiety. And it’s partly thanks to the people on here, sparing their time to write a review,so I wanted to do the same. …
Read the full review
The Best decision I’ve ever made to help my dog with separation anxiety.
And it’s partly thanks to the people on here, sparing their time to write a review,so I wanted to do the same.
I wish I did this sooner as I tried everything to help my cockapoo who is 2 years & 4 months old with his separation anxiety issues.
From research,books,tv,asking people who have dogs and I even hired someone else which unfortunately (not checking reviews) wasn’t good.
I’m so glad i decided to try again and ask a professional for help.
Alex is no less than amazing,I really didn’t think he’ll be able to solve the problem.
Not only did he solve the problem,but I saw results so quickly.
He’s like the Dr.Dolittle of the dog world.I would 100% recommend Alex to help anyone with their dog issues.
Sources
- RSPCA, Separation-related behaviour in dogs
- RSPCA, How to train your dog to stay home alone
- Dogs Trust, Separation anxiety in dogs: signs, causes and how to help
- Blue Cross, Separation anxiety in dogs alone at home
- PDSA, Separation anxiety in dogs
- Battersea, Dealing with separation anxiety in dogs
- de Assis L. S., Matos R., Pike T. W., Burman O. H. P., Mills D. S. (2020), separation-related problems in dogs, Frontiers in Veterinary Science (University of Lincoln summary)
- Mills D. S. et al. (2020), "Pain and problem behavior in cats and dogs", Animals 10(2):318
Related
Last updated . This post is general advice, not a diagnosis. If your dog may be unwell or in pain, please see your vet.